"If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." (4 weeks)

Before this month I had zero desire to have another baby. Not even a hint of baby fever. But then once I realized I could be the fever hit me and I knew I'd be ready if it happened. Ryan and I follow NFP pretty closely but with my cycles being all over the place the last few months, it was harder to keep track. One month I'd have a 31 day cycle, followed by a 13 day cycle and then a 24 day one and then back to 31. Needless to say, extended breastfeeding and weaning at almost 20 months definitely didn't do much for regulating my cycles, haha.  Go figure I end up knocked up the first month after I quit breastfeeding and once I reached my ultimate weight goal. Oh and once I was super excited about using my diva cup! Also, Ryan and I had decided to TTC this time next year, but now we'll have a 4 month-old in a year. So crazy!

I am excited and nervous and oddly, much calmer this time around than I was before. I guess I kind of feel like whatever is going to happen is going to happen regardless of whether or not I worry. My first appointment is in a few weeks and I'll be around 7 weeks then. I'm going back to the midwives I used when I was pregnant with Marija and God-willing, will be delivering with them too. I am going in fully hoping for another completely unmedicated VBAC.

We'd initially planned on not telling anyone until 12 weeks, but our families are super close and there's no way we'd be able to hide it that long. I quit smoking and drinking coffee and pop, so there's two obvious signs. Plus, how could I hide a growing belly and morning sickness? I am nervous about having told everyone because it's so early and anything could go wrong. But if something happened, I'd want that same support lifting me up, so we leave it in God's hands at this point.

This picture is how I broke the news to my hubby =)

We broke the news to our families with this picture yesterday and everyone is really excited for us. I was nervous about how the family would react because we're not on our own yet, and we were hoping we would be before we had another baby, but everyone has offered nothing but support, congratulations, and encouragement.

 This is the test that changed our lives as we knew it.  

I suspected I might have been pregnant but I kept testing negative (tested negative with a First Response two days ago) and then I thought I was confusing diabetes symptoms (I'm prediabetic) with pregnancy symptoms so I'd convinced myself I wasn't. The top test is one I took late a few nights ago. The one on the bottom was taken just a few hours later, the next morning.

 And then I was in shock and disbelief and in slight denial so I took one of these. And it was positive too.

Here's the belly at 4 weeks
There's not much there and I don't notice too much of a difference yet. 

How far along:  4w4d, barely just missed a period.

How big is baby/milestones:  About the size of a poppy seed, tiny! There is lots going on in there right now, lots of development for the baby.

Total weight gain/loss:  None yet. I started this pregnancy out at 118 lbs, so I have a feeling I'll show super early since I'm 30 lbs lighter than I was when I got pregnant with Franky and 55 lbs lighter than I was when I got pregnant with Marija. I'm nervous that I'll blow up and gain everything back I've lost over the last six months, but I'm confident all of my healthy eating habits will carry into pregnancy.

Maternity clothes: Not yet.

Sleep:  When my kids sleep well, I've been sleeping really well, but they've been getting up early so I'm not sleeping as much as I'd like to.

Best moment of the week:  The look on Ryan's face the morning he got the picture I sent him. He was completely speechless and in shock.

Food cravings/aversions:  None, although I've been on a spinach and strawberry kick the last few days.

Symptoms: Light cramping in my lower abdomen, extreme fatigue and irritability (crazy low tolerance for nonsense), moodiness, loss of appetite, increased appetite (weird, I know - it varies from day to day) bloating, light-headedness. 

Movement:  Nothing yet. 

Gender:  I have no idea nor do I have any guesses yet. I typically didn't get a "feeling" either way in my previous pregnancies until I hit the 12 week mark. I don't have any favorite names (although we do have middle names picked) and I'm not sure if we're finding out the gender yet. Also, if we do find out the gender, I'm not sure if we'll share the gender or the name. We're on the fence with both for the time being. 

What I’m looking forward to:  My first appointment in a few weeks to check on my poppy seed and going through things in storage to sell what we don't need or want and set aside everything else. 

What I miss:  Having certain options. Like wine at my mom's, sneaking cigarettes (terrible, I know, but it is what it is), lunch meat and sushi.  

How I feel: Tired, happy, nervous, excited. 

Belly button in or out: In, for now, although I expect it to pop much sooner with the umbilical hernia.

Labor signs: None.

Stretch marks: Not any new ones. All the ones I have I got from my pregnancy with Franky and I think I got one new one on my thigh with Marija.