As if losing Dahlia wasn't hard enough, dealing with everything else that comes along with losing a pet has not been fun either. I brought her food and water bowls in and gave them a good scrubbing yesterday so Ry wouldn't have to do it. I won't lie, it sucked. We decided to keep them for Bear because they are practically brand new and he'll like having a raised eating station. We also decided to keep Dahlia's gigantic crate for Bear's bed because hers is a lot bigger than Bear's and he'll like having a much bigger space for his fluffy bed and favorite blankets and toys. My poor husband helped me clean out Dahlia's bed and space last night. Every time I go to let Bear out it causes physical pain to see Dali's stuff just sitting there, so we started cleaning everything out and moving things around so it's not so painful going out there.
We had a lady come by earlier today to pick up Bear's old crate and the unopened 42 lb bag of Dali's food that we have no use for anymore. Bear is being switched to a different dog food because he's having dry skin issues, which my cousin (who is a professional dog groomer and has years of experience with different breeds of dogs) said could be a sensitivity or allergy to his current food. So we're switching him to more natural stuff in hopes that his skin tolerates it better.
Ry stopped after work yesterday to pick Dali's ashes up and that was really hard. I opened her velvet case, held her ashes and broke down. Maybe that sounds morbid, but it helped me feel closer to her. And it made me especially thankful that we paid extra to bring her home, where she belongs. Sometime in the next week or so Ry and I will pick out a pot for her along with dahlia bulbs and get them ready to plant once it warms up a bit outside.
I understand now just how much our pets become our family members and how devastating it is to lose them. Bear just turned 8 and I'm more worried for his health more than ever before. It freaks me out how quickly something can happen and we can lose them, so I want to keep up with his health more than we usually do. My cousin is grooming him this weekend and he has his vaccination appointment next week, a month early.
I think it's safe to say Ry and I are both emotionally exhausted after the last few days. I wake up every morning puffy-eyed with a slight headache from crying the day before. I just can't believe she's gone. I replay how she used to pin her ears back and wag her whole body when I'd sing the "stinky pretty" song to her. When she was a puppy I used to call her "my pretty little baby," and sometimes just "pretty," sometimes just "little" and sometimes "stinky pretty little" cuz she had that stinky puppy breath. Then for some reason over the years I just called her my "stinky pretty" but I'd say it to her sing-songy and she loved it.
To think less than a month ago she was dancing to the stinky pretty song and then less than a week ago she could hardly walk. Life can be so cruel and so unfair. It kills me to think how many times I shoo'd her away because she had her snout full up the crack of my butt when she wanted attention, or how she'd rub up against me and leave a trail of fur behind. I remember my annoyance when I'd sit out there on the phone all those times and almost killed myself tripping over her. I wish I'd known then what I know now because I wouldn't have taken her for granted. Then I remember all the sacrifices Ryan and I made throughout the years just so we could keep her and I'm reminded of how loved and spoiled she was.
Mama loves you stinky pretty.